My work has always been linked with personal experiences, thoughts, and reflections on my own life and my interaction with others. Initially this ongoing personal narrative was constructed by symbols representing daily events, memories, and thoughts which were somewhat scattered and un-linked. The majority of these works were generally created using mixed media collage, oil paints, acrylic, and found objects. After working with these concepts and materials for several years, I began to develop characters based on different experiences, people, and thoughts I had regarding everyday conversations and interactions of my everyday life.
In the fall of 2009 my work took a very specific turn in dealing with events that were taking place with my immediate family. I feel it is critical to discuss the specific events that have affected my work prior to discussing the symbols and themes which now make up the visual and conceptual pieces to my current work. The first incident which began my new narrative was a stroke that my father had. At the time, my father was seventy five years old, but was in fairly good health. After the stroke occurred, members of my family and I took on different roles in the recovery process. At the beginning of this process, staying with my father at the hospital to offer him comfort was the initial job. The first night I stayed with him was a non-stop ten hour roller coaster ride where his short term memory would re-set what seemed like every half an hour. Sleep was hard to come by, my father would wake me up asking to go back home, but of course he couldn’t. I tried nearly a dozen times to explain what had happened to him that night, only to find that his retention of knew knowledge and ability to understand what had happened to him was a an unsuccessful effort.
The first piece that was created following this event was the first appearance of an un-named self-portrait like character who continues to be visible in nearly every work I have created since. The work itself was a mixed media piece on wood created using ghost prints from old lithography pronto plates and a character painted on using acrylic paint. The character itself is that of a bald man with blank eyes. Engraved on his forehead are the words “encapsulate” and “20 minute sleep.” This character is both a representation of myself and my father, as well as a reflective narrative discussing the previously described experience and my thoughts regarding his stroke and the beginning of his recovery.
Over the next two years, my work had focused mainly on the narrative of recovery, remission, and chronic illness within my family. Overall, until the summer of 2011, my work dealt mostly with reflections of my own which addressed the relationship between my father and I, my family, and the potential for illness within my own genes. Another part of the narrative within my work addresses my younger sister and mother, both who have been diagnosed with the disease Multiple Sclerosis, an illness which essentially forces the body to attack its own brain cells often resulting in physical impairment of varying degrees. This portion of my narrative is rarely addressed in terms of specifics like my relationship with my father has, however, this has contributed to the overall narrative dealing with cultural, social and biological associations of chronic illness within my work. The final two more recent events which have contributed to the narrative were the diagnosis of lung cancer to my mother during the summer of 2011 and the eventual death of my father due to stroke related ailments in February of 2012. Specifically, these events have been addressed far less due to them being more recent.
Characters and text are the main means by which I discuss my narrative within my work, while I also make the personal decision to exclude much background, often leading to a sense of isolation and hopelessness. Each piece, the majority of which are woodcuts, generally contains one or more humanistic faces in various forms of decomposition or mutation. The idea of chronic illness in my work is addressed visually through the altering of these faces. Each character’s eyes are left blank, generally white with occasional bits of woodcut chatter within them. The feeling of hopelessness, loss of control, and a general attempt at empathy is the driving force behind this consistent visual decision. Attempts have been made to leave more visible in the eyes when there is a sense of hope which is intended in the piece. Throughout the development of my current work, my characters have gone from caricature like visualization of me, sans any body part other than the head, to faces which are often constructed of multiple heads, dangling tissues, and unidentifiable body parts. Each piece functions independently, as well as ties in with the ongoing untitled series of work.
Each face and character has an element of ridiculousness tied within it, despite also directly reflecting torture and anguish. Living somewhere between expressionist and pop-surrealist, my images are generally heavily textured regardless of black and white or color in nature. My woodcut carving style is a balance of purposeful intricate marks as well as heavily physical cuts that are strongly tied to the emotion and thoughts which drive each piece. The strange uneasiness of the carving style is an attempt to agitate the viewer and show raw emotion while also adding to the physicality and deformation within each character. I always view each character as part self-portrait and part individual narrative which circles through each piece. Color choices range from pink and red fleshiness to green and grey rot, but there is always an attempt to make the work over the top in regards to color choices and seemingly balance the darker content weaving throughout the work. I often view my work as a sort of dark comedy, constantly utilizing the imagery to add balance to the driving concepts behind the work.
The process of creating each piece is almost always a constant state of reflection and self-conversation. Each work begins with a conceptual basis which is transformed and is in flux throughout as I reflect upon the specific idea as my thoughts swim through the larger scale narrative which generates the ideas for each piece.
The work attempts to connect with the viewer in several ways. As stated earlier, visuals are always balanced with underlying concepts and to a degree are set as traps to entice the viewer into the work. Through the use of pop colors as well as vibrating textures, my hopes are that viewers are interested in investigating the piece for a period of time in which they begin to consider the driving force. Often times, titles are specific to the individual narrative that each piece is developed around, often times being visible within the work itself, often engraved into a head or scrolled across a banner. Working toward empathy from the viewer is always one of my goals which drives the creative and image development process. Connecting to a character or piece through the visual deformities or the quick marks which contours each characters face are directly connected to the emotions which go into creating each piece. Often times, the reflective process which goes on during image creation assists in asserting the physical visual mark making.
While the overall narrative connects quite well within itself and is easily understood as a concise and ongoing story, I also feel it is important to discuss a few individual pieces as they offer a more specific view into the narrative within each piece as well as how a consistent symbolic vocabulary is used throughout my work.
The first woodcut piece which was created dealing with the current conceptual drive was created in the summer of 2010. The work itself was based on the assigned theme of “Natural/Unnatural Disaster” andwas constructed as two independently functioning pieces that could also be printed together as a diptych. Each piece addresses my family’s battle with chronic illness and disease as a type of “natural and unnatural disaster”. In these works, multiple characters representing myself and family as well as illness and self-medication were addressed. The flowing liquid and intertwining veins, which are present throughout my work, represent the connection between these concepts. They are a symbol of disease, and are a visual representation of the cultural effects of infection. Text within this piece, while having no specific connection to the title of the work, offers a glimpse into my own conscience and feelings of the developing illness theme in a more psychological way. This is one of the few pieces which specifically address multiple ideas of self as well as family members. There is a feeling of guilt and loss of control within the piece which is brought for by the overloaded composition and this begins to tap into the psychological effects of illness on individuals.
An additional piece which begins to discuss biological issues is the woodcut piece entitled “Everything”. This piece involves two wrapping characters who are connected through an arrow with the text “everything” scrolled on top of it and a pipe fitting from another characters head spewing liquid into a hole in the original character. This work specifically addresses the idea of genes and inherited traits which are passed down from generation to generation. It takes into consideration the relationship between my family members and I in a far different way than other pieces I have created in that it considers my own connection and potential for illness and disease. It has a sense of guilt and anger associated with it, while at the same time the characters have no control over what will or has happened to them. This idea taps into not only biological but also social issues which are prevalent in our society aligned with guilt, anger, and ultimately fear. This piece looks at these issues in a very raw way, accepting what we cannot control about ourselves, while the carving style and color choices still illustrate frustration and anger.
Other more recent work of mine have exhibited more cultural implication of disease. The pieces titled ‘The Missing Word’ and ‘Lost and Found’ deal with the relationship of myself and my father as his physical and mental deterioration took place. Both describe hopeless and restricted characters who while still being very bold, strong, bodies look to evoke a feeling of empathy from the viewer. These images are very specifically derived from my experiences and thoughts on visiting my father in several nursing homes over the course of two years. Culturally, nursing homes are viewed as a place which represents the step before death. Additionally, the status of the people inside these structures is often heartbreaking or disturbing to families and the public. My characters are bold in their statements and are extremely direct in addressing the obvious pains of individuals and families who frequent these places. Having my father not recognize myself and my family, and observing his inability to communicate are directly linked with these images. Once again, common symbols such as veins, arrows, emptied eyes, and carving style are used to illustrate these ideas, in addition to an overall feeling of a hopeless end illustrated by the immobilized and inhuman characters.
While my work addresses a very specific series of instances, I do not feel they are only reaching out to people who have had these experiences. My work falls within the human condition. It allows me to connect with those who have lost a loved, their job, or has had some significant change happen in their lives. The social, psychological, biological, and cultural implications are not different. It is a lived experience, a need to connect to others, and a meeting place for individuals. I once read that everyone has something going on in their lives, and to them it is just as bad as what you are going through. One thing that this process of creation and reflection has taught me is a new empathy towards others. Everyone has something going on in their lives, which is greatly affecting them and their everyday. This not only helps me as I work as an art educator with my students, but also assists me in being a more compassionate human being with concern for others. I do not wish for my work to be a sob story, which is why the visual appeal of the imagery and reflective process during creation is so important to each piece. Instead, I hope that my work allows my viewers to connect to a narrative which links us all through our triumphs, failures, and all of our human experiences.
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